This is definitely a question reeking of our delightful modernity: if you were an escaped convict, would you regularly update your Facebook status?
This question is significant because Craig “Lazie” Lynch has, according to CBSNews.com, been on the run from a British prison since September. However, his Facebook page, updated with a plethora of bons mots Sunday, has stirred so many who admire freedom and, um, crime.
Lynch’s musings are enjoying the attention of more than 3,000, um, friends. They have been regaled with Lynch’s dilemmas, thoughts and wishes. This, for example, from Sunday: “Trying to figure out my plans for New Years. I know what I want to do but its not that easy.”
Who can but sympathize with his plight? It’s tough to get a reservation for dinner at a Gordon Ramsay establishment at such late notice. And if he wanted to take a lover for, say, a night at the Ritz, well, there might be problem with the credit card confirmation.
Lynch was serving a 7-year sentence for aggravated burglary before he slipped out of Hollesey Bay Prison, which is in the rather sleepy and flat part of England to the north-east of London.
An aerial view of the prison and its surroundings. Plenty of fields to hide in, no?
(Credit:
CC Babylon Angel/Flickr)
The police are, naturally, not well-disposed toward Lynch’s updates.
“We have spoken to Facebook and we are trying to trace him from the information we have, but it’s one of those things that we’re also asking for help from members of the public,” police spokesperson Anne-Marie Breach told CNN.
It seems, though, that late Sunday, Lynch began experiencing a little emotional pain. In what must have been an almost teary update, he posted: “right i’m coming off this page as i have better things to do.”
Who might have imagined that, in his mysterious hideaway, Lynch had something better to do than continue his run as a Facebook attraction?
Still, he continued: “In fact due to the nature of some of these comments and the racist remarks that keep frequently poppin up have a dig at me by all means but why be abusive to others due to their colour or race it is petty minded fools who have ruined this site.”
Petty-minded, indeed. Some of the world’s great artists have suffered when their works have been ruined by unscrupulous, jealous critics, so Lynch’s pain is entirely understandable.
However, he wants his supporters to know that he is grateful. For he posted: “Thank you to…all of you serious supporters out there and to my admin staff. To all you haters and hitlers out there i hope you slowly choke in your sleep.”
By the way, if you ever wondered about the definition of aggravated burglary it is this: at the time of the burglary, the criminal: “has with him a firearm, imitation firearm, weapon of offense, or any explosive.”
You might imagine, therefore, that Lynch is someone who might not always turn the other cheek. This might affect the level of sympathy you have for his Facebook critics.
How do you react, for example, to this update from he Saturday evening?: “Its freezing outside. Another lonely night. So far away from my family and friend. Yet I have so many supporters and haters on here. Thx for your support everyone cause this is a FAN PAGE.”
One might conceive that, with the help of the large brains at Facebook, Lynch’s Facebook fame might shortly come to an abrupt logout.
But here’s the thing that seems a little peculiar. Lynch, according the the BBC, was serving time near the end of his sentence and escaped while he was on day release.
For some, the lure of Facebook fame is clearly uncontrollable.
Last month, I wrote about a Japanese husband who confessed to his wife that he had a virtual girlfriend, a character from an addictive Nintendo DS game called Love Plus. Now, another man is planning to hold a wedding ceremony with his Love Plus girlfriend this coming Sunday. The man, who calls himself SAL9000, was so in love with Nene Anegasaki that he decided to marry her and take her on a honeymoon to Guam. Of course, this means that he literally just took his Nintendo DS to Guam… while there, he took photos, livecast their adventures on popular video-sharing site Nico Nico Douga, and documented their adventures using the augmented reality iPhone app Sekai Camera. In any case, the guy plans on having a public reception in Tokyo this Sunday. It will be livecast on Nico Nico Douga, but in case you miss it, we’ll be bringing you an update early next week. Stay tuned!
