Me: Hey. I re forward the invoice with recent payment reflection.
Me: No problem. Will payment (or part payment) be in today?
Client: Not unless a miracle happens n my acct
Me: Well, at least I was entertained by the answer.
Client: Well my bank acct isn't funny at all but if u like drama...
Me: No thanks. I got enough in my current reality. I'm trying to keep my current OPP Guide light.
Me: (Thinking back) The last P was for "problems". Sorry.
Friend: I'm looking for a job, can you help me out?
Me: I'm looking for part-time work as well.
Friend: What you applying to so far?
Me: A runner's store position.
Friend: What qualifies you as a runner?
Friend: Seriously, you can't run a marathon at your current weight.
Me: I ran a marathon 10 pounds heavier.
Me: Check my Facebook.
Friend: YOU RAN THE NYC MARATHON LAST YEAR?!?!?!?!
Me: All the emails I send you about fund raising and you didn't even donate a penny.
Friend: You RAN the marathon last year??? You... seriously?
Friend: You lied. Those are just pretty pictures.
Me: Check your email for a link.
Friend: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! YOU DID RAN IT LAST YEAR!!!!
Me: (slightly annoyed) YES.
Friend: So, you think they gonna hire you based on that fact?
Me: Not really... but chances are, when they hear I'll run it again this year, maybe.
Friend: You like to punish your body?
Me: I like to lose weight, thank you very much!
Friend: What is it with you and bald women?
Me: Why you ask this random thing?
Friend: You have dated women in the past that had fades.
Me: I never "dated" them. They are my friends.
Friend: Whateva dude. I'm asking a question here and you're dicking around as usual.
Friend: What is it with you an bald women?
Me: They tend to be easier on the eyes.
Friend: Then when you f*ck them, what do you pull?
Friend: You do f*ck them right?
Friend: You know, you leaving me hanging ain't cool.
Friend: Why do you ALWAYS leave me hanging when I ask something.
Me: Boy bye.