the files of nukirk

I exited a client’s house and started walking home. A White UPS man, who sees me often, asked me “where you’re going?” I told him I’m going down the hill to go home. He then told me that there are cops down there looking for someone and wanted to give me a “heads up” for that.

This immediately came to my mind:

Should I be offended, or should I be thankful that he advised me?

When people who don’t know you like that is looking out for your well being, it makes you wonder about the state of society’s mind. It’s amazing that when something as simple as walking home could be a life-changing event for a colored person.

P.S. - I wasn’t stop and frisk like I usually would be because no one noticed me when I walked past the cops, bright lights and all. 

… going on killing sprees if they are sexually frustrated.

Damn, dolphins. I haven’t had any in years. I haven’t killed anyone…

… yet.

I got to do something today.

It’s a small thing, but it’s a first step for me. Sadly, I can’t say “who” it is until after they disclose it.

about an hour ago I came home. Dripping wet. With a soaked pizza box. A pulled hamstring. And my back was killing me.

A stranger (one of my roommates’ friends) open the door. I kept telling her…

“I live here. Please move the curtains so I can get in.” (It was that stupid mesh they installed over the summer). Took me two minutes to get inside my own house because of course… they don’t understand English. 

I have pulled a muscle in my leg, can no longer stand, walked an actual MILE just to get home, with an Umbrella and an almost completely soaked box from Pizza Hut…

… and they got the nerve to laugh at me because they thought I was a delivery guy. 

*sighs* my life…

I can’t wait to move to a place where people actually speak English and I don’t feel like a stranger.

Did the word “today” means something other than “present”? 

I want to know because it seems that someone is promising me payment “today” on Wednesday, then Friday. Then Saturday, she said “either today or Tomorrow”? 

Usually, people would say “I’ll pay you tomorrow” and tomorrow never comes. But then it’s “I’ll pay you today”… and you’re not sure if it’s “today at noon” or “today at 12 AM” or maybe when they said “today” they actually meant “today at 12 AM UTC+8” or “Today at 4 PM PST” or maybe they were talking about a “today” in an alternative universe where today actually means “two Fridays from now”.

Did the word “today” changed? 

I swear this woman is a Republican, because they love to change words around like “compromise”, “work” and “poor people”.

This is an actual transcript from one of my chats…

Setup: Client transferred a clone of their working site to another domain for me to develop on before transferring the developments over to the current one. I blocked the robots and found a maintenance mode. I turned it on and was sorta surprised at the graphic he chose. So, my chat went like this…

So today, I gotten a call the people that want to help take care of my business name, incorporate and so on. They like the business plan, but they are wondering if I really need to incorporate in the first place. 

Before they go to the next step, they asked me if I have an accountant. My answer was no. They asked do you have your books in order…

What I wanted to say was…

My paperwork that I try to keep together were in a storage place, but I was a little behind in the bills, so along with the last of my life from Phoenix, my data from old machines, my music samples, and the last of my official paperwork is now all auctioned away to the highest bidder about 3 months back and I pray to the Universe that the IRS will accept the “er… I lost all the data of the last 10 years to my inability to pay my bills, I’m lucky to have backups of pictures and my only photo album is on me, so can we like… pretend the last 6 years didn’t happen and start anew?” 

(I am not over the fact that someone got my receipts from the World Series of 2001. Literally. My receipts. I worked those games. Next to the buttons I collected, those are my only proof of being at the World Series! THE WORLD SERIES!!!!)

What I said instead?

I said: ”My books are not as balanced as I would like them, but they pay the bills.”

They advise me that maybe it’s not best to incorporate until I get advise from an accountant. They will consider me after I get accountant advice, since it’s expensive and maybe counter-productive to do an Inc.

So… maybe I should just get a DBA, Trademark and call it a day?

… And suddenly, the most boring topics to me becomes the most FASINCATING thing! And if she can change to an islander accent at a drop of a hat, then it’s on like Donkey Kong!

Funny thing happened when I was in Time Square. While I was looking for a lovely spot to fix down and admire the bustling coward (for some reason, I like being able to take pictures there), an elderly women tapped my arm. Because I learned to respect the elders, I looked at her and smiled and said, “yes, how can I-” and before I said help, she gave me a card and said, “young man, you look like you can come to our event. We need more young people like you!”

I looked at the card and… and it’s for the Time Square Church. I wasn’t offended by a church offering, after all… I’m used to it. However, it said on the top “Strictly Young People”. I decided immediately that this was not for me, but before I can say anything, she was gone.

So, I kept the card, not knowing what else to do with it. I came home, watched Hulk Vs. Thor and as it passed 2:40 AM (my birth time on June 1st), I turned 34. I decided to see what the “young people” means. Maybe, just maybe I should check it out at least.

So, I went to the website… and it was invited to this.

Here’s to my 34 years…

… may I always trick people with my youthfulness.

eclecticspectrum replied to your post: Hi

I do tackle people just for the mental exercise lol It’s a shame I’m starting to look 20. Generally ppl think I’m teenager. But because of tumblr ppl guess I’m a very young 20. sigh. I turn 21 next month.

When we don’t have audio/visual feedback, we can only determine maturity by the subjects choosen and how they choose to tackle it. It’s why people place me younger than I really am (Some people guess as young as 27 and as high as 31. I’m turning 34 come June 1st)

It’s not bad turning 21. My only piece of advice is don’t wish to be older… because honestly, by the time you get to the desire age, it’s nothing. People telling me I’m too old to watch animations and chasing dreams… society, have a freaking seat!

So, yeah… a few men whining on my dashboard, claiming to be attacked for their postings. “I won’t apologize for being a man”… geez, someone is insecure with their feelings.

I remembered a period of my life when people doubt that I’m… you know… a man. I done things that people would call me “gay” for. I used to walk in a particular way that cause a lot of people at my school pause because they said I “walked like a girl”. At first, I was offended and spent years modifying the way I walk. I perfected it, but at a price. By changing my biomechanics of my body, the shoes that used to last for years when I was a kid now lasts for a few months. By changing what came naturally, I was doing my body a lot of injustice. 

Now, in relations to posting on my personal tumblr, I don’t really post pictures of women on my blog, unless I know them personally and I want to surprise them with something about them. I don’t post nudes often, but it’s mostly because of my audience. At the end of the day, people understands that this is a personal representation of myself. I like to laugh, I like to make people think, and I love women. Love them to the point that maybe I should do something different other than posting and observing them as sexual objects. There’s also something behind me posting something up and anyone who follows me long enough will know that “yeah, he’s a designer, an advocate of sorts, a pseudo-intellectual, but most of all, a nice guy with a balanced life.” 

Yes, I am that nice guy. The guy who can be myself and be a man. I ain’t going to apologize for posting anything or rant about how I am less of a man for not doing so. If I post a nude picture, ain’t apologizing for it. I thought about it, posted it and there. If I post something about one of my female followers/friends, I am not apologizing for that post. If I shoot you down for being a male chauvinistic pig, guess what? That’s right… call me whatever you want. I’ve been called worse, been through worse and there’s NOTHING you can say that’s going to make me think otherwise. 

I apologize only if I feel I’ve wrong you. Other than that, I apologize for NOTHING.

At the end of the day, it’s not that serious. I’m a cis hetrosexual male that have traditional views of sexuality, but will make sure that everyone else get to talk about their own… wither I agree with it or not.

This was a random rant.