the files of nukirk

Title pretty much said a lot. And yes, I actually feel this way. 

I thought about it for a moment. A small moment. And I know why. It’s been triggered because I saw a picture of someone I knew doing something he loves while I’m here, wondering what’s up with me. It triggered something within me. A spark… anger… bitterness… jealousy. 

I have to consistently remind myself at times… “I’m only battling myself and growth takes time. Killing yourself will stop all growth… period.”

Things take time, I tell myself. 

Things. Take. Time. 

The moment you lose the ability to feel is the moment you’ll lose. I can still feel something… and I wanna feel everything until I no longer have the ability to feel again.

So, please… please… remember this feeling… so I can always ask myself… how do I stop feeling this way and just live the way I wanna live?