Rules for Real N****s.
I adjusted the title. I refused to be personally called that. But I’ll add to it… timnotbryant: Never strike a woman. There are very few situations in which hitting a girl is indeed acceptable. These situations include: during sex (if she’s into it) or if she does something like bites your dick and/or balls. Never pretend to be a girl’s friend to try to get in her pants and get...
Study: Rich more likely to take candy from babies →
In a game where a computer rolled dice and any score above 12 got the user a $50 gift certificate, those making more than $250,000 were more likely to lie to researchers than those making less than $250,000. “A $50 prize is a measly sum to people who make $250,000 a year,” Berkeley’s Paul Piff told Bloomberg. “So why are they more inclined to cheat? In another test, researchers observed cars at...
If you’re white, you can play a Middle Eastern prince. If you’re black, you can...– Chris Rock, thank you for calling it out (via hinduthug)
my supposed children must have names that present...
freshest-tittymilk: they just gotta… Honestly, I don’t like this type of thinking. Sure, you don’t want to give your child a ridiculous name (like a car brand name) or you don’t wanna have a name that is poor translated (There’s a Spanish woman named Sofá Rosa, which in America stands for Pink Couch), but come on… you really wanna name your child Franklin?
skysscribbles: esinololly: rainbowmango: syralthebelligerent: cabout: thevinckanator: This has been one of my favorite video’s for a long time. shIT i IOST It FUCKING CACKLING OH GOD I CANT FEEL ANYTHING OH MY GOD … I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING AT ALL LMAO Play the video, even if you are not an Anime fan.
siftingthroughthoughts: isn’t having an entire, national museum for BLACK history ONLY a little racist… can we get a white museum too? You do know that there’s “vanilla” everything, right?
When a goal matters enough to a person, that person will find a way to...– Nido Qubein
WOMEN: Are You Evil?
Fuck the slice, we want the pie Why ask why till we fry Watch us all stand in line For a slice of the devil’s pie Drugs and thugs, women and wine Three or four at a time Watch them all stand in line For a slice of the devil’s pie This is how it be in this everlasting game - D’Angelo - Devil’s Pie This is in the interest of learning and “the power of...
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is...– Marianne Williamson
The Joys of Freelancing #5 - A Spoonful of...
Nexus S: New Message
Me: *looks at phone*
Me: (Text) Can you please forward this to my email address? (to myself) I hope it's not what I think it is. Please don't tell me that this client is sending me an image from his phone to use it on his website. Please tell me that if it is, at least the lighting is good enough for a decent presentation. (clicks over to email)
Me: *sighs* How can I say "I can't turn shit into ice cream" as professional as possible without hurting this guy's feelings or budget?
While washing clothes, I saw Glee...
My first time watching that show. I understand… someone was getting marry, and the best friend was late to the wedding… and the minute she started texting, I scream at the TV “STOP FUCKING TEXTING!” then, the car… Never had I screamed so loud in a Pizza shop.
I hope that what you’re doing matters to you. I ain’t gonna be here...– My father during one of our many conversations.
When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change...– Viktor E. Frankl (via amandaonwriting)
Macs Don't Make You Cooler...
mrcontro replied to your post: If I hear “Get A Mac”… You should get a Mac, makes ya cooler :P Look, I am not interested in a Mac. I will admit that their OS X (which they keep renewing with small changes) had made me at least LOOK at a Mac. But I will still use a PC over a Mac because I don’t see a long-term benefit in owning a Mac unless I’m willing to pay the...
Jay Smooth: Say Something Nice...
jsmooth995 replied to your post: If I hear “Get A Mac”… Seriously. seriously. Don’t we all have computer problems? One day, I’ll sing it like you.
If I hear "Get A Mac"...
If I hear “Get a Mac” when I put up these the rare problems I do have with Windows 7, I will rant you and tear you a new hole.
The Joys of Freelancing #4 - The Last 4 Hours
Me: Yes. Photoshop work is done. Now, to take a little break.
Tumblr: Dashboard - 25
Me: *clicks on dashboard*
Me: Click on music
Tumblr: Lick it now, lick it good, suck my pussy just... *stalls and flash breaks*
Me: SHIT SHIT! *clicks on close browser, but Google stalled the whole computer.
Me: Damn... *changes hats* Digi.tal tech support.
Me (Worker): Sir, my computer just crashed.
Me (Digi): Looks like Google Chrome is buggy. Reboot.
Me (Worker): I rebooted the computer and click on Google Chrome.
Me (Digi): Well, looks like you need to reinstall. See how it's not loading up.
Me (Worker): Yeah... let's do this.
Me: *Working on computer for 4 hours, between watching Key & Peele on VOD while things are loading up*
Me (Digi): And Google Chrome is no longer messing up or stalling the computer!
Me (Worker): GREAT! Now... *opens up Photoshop and cries*
Me (Digi): What's wrong?
Me (Worker): I forgot to save the last changes.
Me (Digi): You only lost 10 minutes of work.
Me (Worker): ONLY 10 MINUTES???
The five stages of running
An hour before running: I don't wanna run today.
5 minutes before running: I'm pumped! Let's do this!
While running: Can't breathe... Must keep going... Run to the rythm of my music... Don't die...
5 minutes after running: Everything's awesome! I love running! I could run for the rest of my life!
An hour after running: I. Am going. To die.
HOW TO PISS OFF PEOPLE BASED ON THEIR ZODIACS
thegoddamazon: cosmicmermaidmuse: Gemini – Spill liquid on their gadgets or books. Make them wait to hear a juicy tidbit of information (especially if they’re the last to know). Whatever they tell you, respond with “Oh that? That’s old news.” Solitary confinement with 0 distractions or entertainment. Have no “street smarts”. Successfully con them. LMFAO this shit too accurate, though. ...
mrcontro replied to your chat: The Joys of Freelancing #3 - Photoshop Blues And which Photoshop are you using? O___o CS5. You wanna look at it?
The Joys of Freelancing #3 - Photoshop Blues
Long-Term Client: Matt, can you make a change to the flyer you did last year?
Me: Sure. *Thinks to self* man... I can't charge full-price. But money is money.
LTC: Good. I need it by Sunday.
Me: No problem. *hangs up* Let's fire up Photoshop.
Computer: This file is not compatible with this version of Photoshop.
Me: Huh? This can't be right. Lemme check something.
Web: In order to restore file, you need this plugin. It will extract the file layer by layer.
Me: This is suppose to be a simple change up. *sighs* I know, I'll go to my backup.
Computer: *syncing* - *3 hours later* Done.
Me: Now to restore the backup.
Computer: This file is not compatible with this version of Photoshop.
Me: WTF? Okay... maybe if I go to previous version.
Computer: None found.
Me: *sighs* Lemme call the client.
LTC: The file was corrupt?
Me: Yes, it will take a while for me to restore it back.
LTC: Don't you usually charge me full price anyway?
Me: *thinks* No...
LTC: Well... redo it for full price.
Me: That's a 48 layer file tho.
LTC: I'm pretty sure you can tackle it. You're a genius after all.
LTC: Tell you what. Can you also do my other flyer? Make a new one?
LTC: Good. *hangs up*
Me: 2 files within 24 hours. Can it get worse?
Computer: Photoshop crashed.
Me: I really need to stop setting myself up like this. *shuts down computer*
21 Jump Street: Buddy Cop Comedy?
So… not only did they took 21 Jump Street and turned it into a movie, they also made it into a buddy-cop comedy? I really hope this flops. Even if Johnny Deep made a cameo in it.
The Joys of Freelancing #2 - Mac/PC?
Me: I need to email you a few documents before we can get started.
Client: Sure, just one question.
Me: Fire away.
Client: You use Macs, right?
Me: No, I don't use Macs. I got a PC laptop I use.
Client: Then we have a problem.
Me: Come again?
Client: I can't work with people who uses PCs.
Me: What's your issue with it?
Client: Incompatible files.
Me: Sir, not to be mistaken... but we are building a website.
Me: A website that uses a database, php and other stuff, right?
Me: And it's going on a linux server.
Me: So... I'm lost as to why you need to be Mac compatible, when all the files are Mac compatible.
Client: What about the PSD? You're using Photoshop?
Me: Yes, but even then, PSDs can be opened with the Mac Photoshop. It's by the same company.
Client: You don't seem to understand why I need you to be a mac-only guy. Can you get a Mac to make me feel comfortable?
Me: Lemme understand you... you want me to buy a 2 grand computer just to take in a job based on the fact of file compatibility when the file can be clearly understood by ALL operating systems that customers use?
Client: You can rent one.
Me: Okay... I run a Mac emulator. Will that counts?
Client: It runs a Mac OS?
Me: Lion OS baby.
Client: They can do that?
Me: My name is Digi.tal for a reason, sir.
Client: I have to think about it.
Me: *thinking "I'm gonna lose this client"* How about this? I'll give you a file from my Mac emulator.
Me: *emails PSD file*
Client: Wow. This is such detailed work. You done this on your Mac?
Me: No, PC, and you managed to open it.
Client: ... point taken.
Me: Can I charge you $25 extra?
Client: For what?
Client: *laughs* I'll throw a tip on the deposit.
Me: Thank you.
If you can correctly pronounce every word in this... →
crimsun: Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter,...