I didn’t know Morpheus had a daughter. I heard about you via Twitter because… you’re in a porno. Not via a hip-hop channel, but via a friend. I thought “cool” and that’s it. I kept it moving. Didn’t think to look up your name, nor your work, nothing. Seriously. I have better things to do.
Then, I heard your reasons. So, I guess as your target audience, I feel that I owe you something because you are looking to get serious, right? Well… here it goes:
You’re not a white woman. Let’s be real about this.
Look at all the women that was successful and have acting careers due to porn. Paris Hilton? She’s NOT an actress. But she’s white and famous for having rich parents. Kim Kardashian? She’s native american, but mostly white. I’m not even sure what she does for a living. Not a clue. But they are ALREADY famous. And if I care to look up wikipedia for what they are famous for, I’ll tell ya.
Only porn actress I know that is black and have a post-porn career is Heather Hunter. Her career is sub-par at best because even thought she moved on from porn, believe it or not, no one wants to give her a chance elsewhere. Her last acting project was “Bulletproof Diva” and that was a cartoon. That cartoon wasn’t even a straight to DVD flick, it’s a series of shorts produced for a website that no longer exists. (but it’s on youtube. She was kind enough to post them up there since you can’t buy them.) I know about the cartoon because I was interested in the website at the time, and trust me, when they said who Hunter was, I had to look it up.
The (entertainment/music) Industry is a cold, male-dominated, sexist beast. It’s hard enough for a male with talent to break into it. It’s twice as hard for a female, especially since she’s black. When a black woman wins an acting award, it’s always for something negative. Who’s the last winner? Mo’nique for an abusive mother in Precious. Before then? Halle Berry for a sex scene in Monster’s Ball.
However, as far as porn goes, I am not excited about porn because the women are displayed as sex objects… nothing more.
When I look at a (non-prono) movie/show, and I see a character I care about, and see that the person is good actor, I wanna know that actor’s name. You name a movie I care about, I can tell you at least one actor’s name. I want to see this person by all means do good.
You name a porn flick, I can’t name the actor… because I don’t care about the acting. I don’t know what warm-blooded mammal who’s a male can. I just look at you, desire you a lil’ bit… then it’s over. I am not thinking (don’t care what race this woman is) “wow, she was very passionate about her work. I wondered if she can really act. What movie can I put her in?”. I doubt anybody thinks that way.
Believe me, I don’t care about Paris Hilton nor Kim Kardashian. (Actually, I dreamed about Kim Kardashian… but there’s kids reading this, so I can’t say what it was about.)
Now, don’t look at me and think “oh, I’m just thinking with my lower head”. I write poems & songs about black women and seeing their inner beauty/spirit. I’m no stranger to it. I even write erotica. I was ashamed to admit it at one point in life, but now, I’m not, however… I’ll promote my other pieces before I even mention the erotica stuff. That’s for people to dig deeper into me. I don’t have any published erotica at all.
I’m not going to deny my need for sexual satisfaction. However, there is a time and place for it, but for me, it’s personal, not for everyone to see.
As far as career moves, I followed Denzel’s advice (told to him by Sidney Poitier), which is: Your first few films determines what roles you get within the industry.
Can you imagine if Denzel’s first role was “Zel the Snake in Deep Under Puss”? That’s not gonna look to good in his resume.
I want to see all sides of a female, not just the body. I don’t care about women like Karrine Steffan, Heather Hunter (not even as a rapper), Kat Stacks, Lil’ Kim or Trina. I do care about women like Jada Pinkett-Smith, Taraji Henson, Tweet, Brandy (even thought she makes weird decisions, all is forgiven), Monica, Mary Ann Ried, and others. Hey, I even care about women that isn’t up there (yet), but making a way in life like Mo, Stephanie, Starr, Corvida, Lauryn (Not Hill, but yeah, she’s on the list), Frenchie Davis (sex educator, not just an erotica poet), Dezaray Dawn, Fox Brown Fox, Rap and a list of others that is more than a pretty face to me.
The people I care about the most isn’t in porn. I probably seem them in a two piece biniki, but nothing more. I can’t name one porn actor I care about. And I’m not doing this for show, I just freakin’ can’t. After all, looks will come and go, but the light they instilled in me will shine bright forever, no matter if they are there for a moment or for the rest of my life.
I love women, no doubt. They confused the hell out of me from time-to-time, but I love them. What I love more are the ones who can capture my attention… and don’t even have show me a nipple, more or less their whole body…
… but you don’t hear me tho.
P.S. - To show you that I’m not all black about the women I care about… I like Kari Byron! She’s on a TV show called MythBusters. She posed for Men magazine, but I was a fan of hers WAY before then. (I like tomboys, sue me.) I’m pretty sure there’s other non-black women on the list, but since I love black women so much, I can’t name others right now. Besides, this is an imaginary letter that you probably won’t see, so why waste my time on it?
